she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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