i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
