We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
