It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
