Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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