We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
