Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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