Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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