Say something about gay babies.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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