dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
