Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
