Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize