thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
