I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
