I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
honey bunches of taint.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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