would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
