so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
