My sheets look like a crime scene.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize