just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Boobs are out for the taking
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
