You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
