He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Randomize
