I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
