Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
handjob tips. give me some.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
