Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
