nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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