Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
