Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize