Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
