what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
