she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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