whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
