Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.

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(503): View more from Oregon

She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.

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(949): View more from California

Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami

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(301): View more from Maryland

I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.

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(850): View more from Florida

Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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(830): View more from Texas

Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do

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(218): View more from Minnesota

She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.

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