I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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