I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
