I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize