You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
