Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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