eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
