I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
