You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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