There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
