It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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