well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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