I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
