u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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