just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize