biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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