I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
