i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
