I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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