She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
