dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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