i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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