Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
