my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
