I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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