do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
