I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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