just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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