How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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